the risk.jpg



chaos doesn't always mean



and heartbreak

sometimes chaos is where we

are born

where we rise

and surrender

within the chaos of my life

my son was born

and within my


this chaos made me a



divine timing feels like

a river

it flows in a fluid motion

at times the path is lined with


jagged rocks

twists and turns

pulling our spirit

beneath the surface


the same river feeds our every


gives us life

nourishes us

grows us

helping us to arrive into


as long as we allow


-flowing downstream


one day when i can say


and hear more


than gasps

i will know we are all




everything is so

bright to me

but that's what happens to

your eyes when you've

been in the


you see better

more radiantly

more willingly

bright is all you will

crave if you've ever

lived in



when we choose to end a


we choose ourselves

we choose to end low

key self-sabotage

we choose to become

the fire

instead of being a

spectator of it


Can you let him love you without attachment and expectation?
Can you let her love you without asking for her to become tame, timid, or lost from her own being?
Can you be so deeply embedded into the Now, that you never forget the sun will rise, days shift and this moment will be lost forever?
Can you be okay with this and accept each moment and experience as it is?

I was once so lost within the moments that filled voided spaces within me, that I forgot that I am the void.
I never wanted beautiful moments and emotions to end and when they did, a sadness flooded through my mind that felt unbearable. And the overwhelming feelings of loneliness, took my heart hostage.
I was a slave to time and lived in it like a fearful inhabitant. I begged either the Sun to stay awake, or Moon to never sleep.

One day I desired to look at my world differently and feel my presence more distinctly.
I decided to let myself be loved in such a way that can only be done through the space of contentment.
One that can only be acquired from within myself first.
Unraveling your own power, beauty and sexuality; is the key we have all been looking for.

Most of us go into love or a sexual encounter wanting something from someone.
We want to feel a connection for a temporary burst of oxytocin and serotonin.
A familiarity and contentment that is strong, and we could care less if it is emotionally damaging.
We want to touch someones skin to feel our own.
We want to feel a wholeness that we can't seem to grasp alone.
And it makes sense on the outside. We humans are social creatures and we need one another. But, we don't need one another to escape ourselves.
We don't need to cover wounds with band-aids and use expectations like we use toilet paper. Too much at once, balled into our minds and forever disposable.
This is why Expectations and Projections will always equal Misery + Suffering.
We go in seeking something we don't think we already contain within ourselves.
But nothing is ever gained, it is just realized.  I decided to realize that not one person is making me suffer. And that is the most valuable truth I have learned.
If I stay in a space of feeling unworthiness and I act as if I am a tree, I am going to suffer longer.

If I move from a space of attachment and into the space of vulnerability into speaking my truth, the pain doesn't last as long.
But if we keep a wound open and pour salt within it, there is no other fault than our own for this. A tough realization when we have played the victim for so long. And blaming our pain on someone else, has been so easy and soothing.
So we must come to a place of asking ourselves, can we love each other without needing something?
Can you love someone deeply when the relationship didn't turn out like the story your mind created?

Can you let them go and then let the Universe pivot you back towards them, if you are meant to do so?
I have come to learn that when we can say yes to these questions, we can see our own reflection more clearly.
Because the truth is, the pain we feel was never about them, it was about you. They merely helped you uncover a dormant wound that has been begging to surface. They played a space holder, not a villain. They held up a mirror and you had a choice to what you would choose to see.

How can this not be a beautiful, divine act of love.